Sep 23, 2010
Sep 9, 2010
FOR M'SIAN GAYS, HOPE FOR A BETTER TOMORROW
by Pang Khee Teik
Published in Malaysiakini, Sep 9 2010
True Malaysian Story No 1: When she turned 13, Alia's father kicked her out of the house for dressing like a girl. As a child, Alia knew she was a girl, so she couldn't understand why her father kept scolding and beating her up for it - 'You're a boy, act like a boy!' Alia went and stayed with another transsexual.
They faced constant harassment from police and religious officers and counted themselves lucky when the worst they got was just extortion (some of her friends weren't so lucky).
Since nobody would give her a job, she was hungry all the time and had to sell her body to survive. When she was 17, she found out she was infected with HIV. She started working for a HIV organisation and saved enough to have a sex reassignment surgery. She also took up a part-time course and received her diploma in draftsmanship.
Alia went back to her kampung to show to her father that she had made something of herself. When she reached her kampung, she found out her father had passed away. She never got the chance.
True Malaysian Story No 2: On the day he was to go back to UK to continue his studies, Chris's parents asked him, son, are you gay? He told them the truth. That afternoon itself, they kicked him out of the home and cut off his allowance and funding. He couldn't continue his studies. A month later, however, still not quite settled, Chris received a call from his mom. Let's reconcile, she said, come back and we'll talk.
When he got home, his parents had called the cops, who took him to a police station and then to a hospital where his father asked the psychiatric unit to cure his son of homosexuality. But homosexuality is no longer regarded as a mental illness by the psychiatric profession worldwide. Two days later, Chris was discharged, but not before he had to pay the hospital fees with money borrowed from friends.
We like to lament that this country will become too liberal and permissive if we allow homosexuality and transsexualism. We believe that these 'vices' are tearing up families and societies. But see for yourselves, my friends, just who is tearing up who.
How many children do we want to kick out into the streets before we feel safe? What kind of a country is this where we consistently subject the most vulnerable segments of our population to more violence and discrimination? We have hatred in the streets, in the parliament, and in the homes. Have we gotten so used to hatred that we need to punish love now?
Sep 1, 2010
MALAYSIAN HEARTBREAK HERO: PANG KHEE TEIK
Published on Fridae, 15 Aug 2008
Photographer, actor, writer, arts critic and Arts Programme Director of The Annexe, Central Market - arguably Kuala Lumpur's buzziest centre for contemporary arts - Pang Khee Teik is putting together Seksualiti Merdeka, Malaysia's first "sexuality rights" festival from Aug 29 - 31.
Photographer, actor, writer, arts critic and Arts Programme Director of The Annexe, Central Market - arguably Kuala Lumpur's buzziest centre for contemporary arts - Pang Khee Teik is putting together Seksualiti Merdeka, Malaysia's first "sexuality rights" festival from Aug 29 - 31.
Currently in Singapore to participate in "Heartbreak heroes: Four Malaysians on surviving love, loss and a hostel in Singapore," Pang Khee Teik will appear alongside three other Malaysian writers who have been invited to share their experiences at a session organised as part of Indignation, Singapore's LGBT pride season. The talk will be held at 72-13 on Saturday, Aug 16 at 3pm.
Seksualiti Merdeka, Malaysia's first gay themed festival will be held from Aug 29 - 31, 2008
æ: Age, sex, location?
Pang: 33, Male, Arts Programme Director, Kuala Lumpur
æ: I'm sure I'm not the first to ask but did you have your heart broken a lot while you were in Singapore - or elsewhere?
Pang: I used to be a compulsive collector of infatuations. This was when I was studying in Singapore from age 12 to 18. And I had no love guru then to tell me that I had to let go of old crushes before acquiring new ones, so I developed a serious case of compounded infatuations, overdrawn on my credit from the love bank. These bubbles reached a bursting point somewhere before my "A" levels - when I became aware of my aloneness in the exam hall of the universe, and I joined a Christian ministry for overcoming my "sexual brokenness" which I thought was the cause of my aloneness, and hence, felt even more alone - and one by one, in quick succession, I let my heart break over these infatuations that I now realise will never become real. Of course, none of my crushes were aware of their compromising positions in my harem of wishful thinking, so none of them knew they broke my heart, those bastards. But it's okay. And most of them were Malaysians.
I honestly can't say I have gotten over my compulsion. I still have spots in my heart for a handful of guys I fell in love with in high school. Some people are destined to break your heart forever. But on most days I manage not to think about them.
æ: How did this topic come about and what are you all really going to talk about?
Pang: We didn't really have a topic. It so happened a few months ago, I met with Clarence Singam (who's the organiser of the session) for lunch as I always try to when I am in Singapore. He is such an inspiration. During lunch he mentioned being busy with Indignation when suddenly, in between shoving pasta into my mouth, I decided to bully Clarence into hosting a contingent of Malaysians during Indignation! I always thought Malaysians and Singaporeans should make out together more! We can offer each other perspectives beyond our little incestuous rocks.
So first, I enlisted my buddy Jerome, an incredibly talented poet, and Dr Farish Noor, who said he has the perfect piece to read about some legendary bisexual. Jerome and I then decided to ask our lesbian pal Jac. It so turns out that apart from Farish, the three of us are reading stories of heartbreaks. And as for Farish, he breaks hearts regularly, so that's that.
I have been reflecting on the good old strategy of seduction through tears, winning people over by breaking their hearts and arousing their sense of compassion. I was turned on to activism through some really tragic stories from an activist friend. Also, my ex sort of came out to his mom by crying on her shoulders (the very day I broke up with him... sigh!), and dumbfounded, all she could say was, "Now, now, there will be others."
Jan 6, 2010
CHAMPIONING ART FOR THE PEOPLE
Who would have thought that I would ever become one of Limkokwing's featured alumnus, and then get to come out of my already demolished closet on their website? I had majored in photography back then, but really didn't think very much of the head of department for photography. I didn't even bother to turn up for his final assessment. He was the one I was referring to below when I said I rebelled against some lecturers. When I finally graduated at the end of 1995, I also didn't collect my diploma -- they spelled my name wrongly. I returned it back to them and never got around to collecting the corrected version.
Here, I am interviewed by Catalina, a writer I knew from Phases, a Christian youth magazine which I was the editor of. My past has a strange way of catching up with me.
Championing Art for the People
Written by By Catalina Rembuyan
[Gosh, why did I have to wear something pink? I actually forgot about the interview that day and therefore didn't dress for it!]
Pang Khee Teik is the man to watch in the local independent arts scene. The Arts Programme Director of the Central Market Annexe Art Gallery and former editor of Kakiseni.com has changed the way people look at art in the country. Catalina Rembuyan speaks to the man who puts the ‘Seni’ into the name ‘Pasar Seni’ and how his years in Limkokwing University formed the man he is today.
“I spent all my life struggling against rigid truth claims and finding out what it means to be a Malaysian Chinese, intellectual, and gay,” said Pang Khee Teik, the Arts Programme Director at the Central Market Annexe Art Gallery and vocal advocate of many causes, including social justice, national culture policies, GLBT rights, and above all else, the power of art and the human imagination.
“Here at The Annexe Gallery, we don’t just run exhibitions – we organize talks and hold dialogues that facilitate the interaction of ideas. Categories are both fluid and restrictive, and to push boundaries we need to celebrate hybridity,” he said.
One such example held at The Annexe Gallery was the Five Arts Centre’s Emergency Festival, a 2-week long multi-disciplinary affair that invited a re-analysis of the country’s Emergency period from 1948 to the 1960s. Incorporating films, theatre, classes, and walk-through exhibitions, it also featured a forum where former members of the Malaysian Communist Party, now living in exile in Southern Thailand, were invited to speak and share their stories.
“No matter how history has turned out or what your views are about them now, when these people were fighting, they sincerely believed that they were fighting for the independence of the country,” explained Pang on his controversial decision.
Above all else, The Annexe Gallery is physically and financially accessible: located near an LRT station, it is a far cry from the intimidating atmosphere of most art galleries. It has also played host to the Arts for Grabs festival, where artists and art enthusiasts trade art sold below the price of RM 100, living up to its promise of making art affordable for everyone.
“Because culture is both something that we define and defines us, we need to reclaim the act of defining our cultures, arts and heritage,” states Pang. “Look at wayang kulit – in the past, it was the cinema of their time conveying a relevant message, but now we treat it as an antique and boring art form.”
Culture, Pang states, comes in whatever form of creativity that can be found in our daily lives, ranging from the clothes you wear to the music you listen to, to a work of fine art displayed on a wall. Graduating from Limkokwing University of Creative Technology (then simply Limkokwing College) with his Diploma in Graphic Design in 1995, Pang has been going places, beginning as a graphic designer for a magazine (later its editor) before moving on to arts and theatre portal Kakiseni.com, where he began as a freelance contributor and was soon hired as editor.
Pang left Kakiseni towards the end of 2006 to work on The Annexe Gallery, and a few months later the gallery opened its doors to visitors for the first time. Along the way, Pang has earned several accolades to his name. In 2007 he was named Malaysia’s Top 20 under 40 by KLUE magazine, and for the following year he was sent to New York and Washington DC by The Kennedy Centre for a cultural programme for arts presenters, and later that year, to Japan as the Malaysian delegate for a conference entitled Urban Community Development Inspired by Culture: The Potential of Creative Cities run by The Japan Foundation.
“There may have been lecturers I rebelled against, but there were lecturers who truly challenged my way of thinking, for which I remain eternally grateful,” said Pang, when asked about his time at Limkokwing University. “I enjoyed every class under Carol and Laura Fan, who were the arts history lecturers then. Once the college invited Kamil Yunus, one of the top designers in the world, for a guest lecture. That was probably the most inspiring class in my life as a student.”
Pang is grateful for one thing at his alma mater: it offered state-of-the-art equipment available for student use. “I would spend hours in the photo labs: the college offered only the best and the latest technology available for us.”
As we wrap up our conversation, I ask Pang if there is anything else that he would like to add to what he has already told us.
New researches reveal that individuals who have multiple perspectives are better at problem solving. I also believe that it makes us better at understanding other people, accepting diversity and creating a harmonious and dynamic community – things we really need in Malaysia now -- so I think schools that teach creativity have an important role to play in challenging our artists to empower our collective imagination,” he said.
“Through this, we can boldly imagine ourselves a better Malaysia, and work together for the many intertwining dreams of our Malaysian Dreams.”
http://www.limkokwing.net/industry/profiles/pang_khee_teik/
Here, I am interviewed by Catalina, a writer I knew from Phases, a Christian youth magazine which I was the editor of. My past has a strange way of catching up with me.
Championing Art for the People
Written by By Catalina Rembuyan
[Gosh, why did I have to wear something pink? I actually forgot about the interview that day and therefore didn't dress for it!]
Pang Khee Teik is the man to watch in the local independent arts scene. The Arts Programme Director of the Central Market Annexe Art Gallery and former editor of Kakiseni.com has changed the way people look at art in the country. Catalina Rembuyan speaks to the man who puts the ‘Seni’ into the name ‘Pasar Seni’ and how his years in Limkokwing University formed the man he is today.
“I spent all my life struggling against rigid truth claims and finding out what it means to be a Malaysian Chinese, intellectual, and gay,” said Pang Khee Teik, the Arts Programme Director at the Central Market Annexe Art Gallery and vocal advocate of many causes, including social justice, national culture policies, GLBT rights, and above all else, the power of art and the human imagination.
“Here at The Annexe Gallery, we don’t just run exhibitions – we organize talks and hold dialogues that facilitate the interaction of ideas. Categories are both fluid and restrictive, and to push boundaries we need to celebrate hybridity,” he said.
One such example held at The Annexe Gallery was the Five Arts Centre’s Emergency Festival, a 2-week long multi-disciplinary affair that invited a re-analysis of the country’s Emergency period from 1948 to the 1960s. Incorporating films, theatre, classes, and walk-through exhibitions, it also featured a forum where former members of the Malaysian Communist Party, now living in exile in Southern Thailand, were invited to speak and share their stories.
“No matter how history has turned out or what your views are about them now, when these people were fighting, they sincerely believed that they were fighting for the independence of the country,” explained Pang on his controversial decision.
Above all else, The Annexe Gallery is physically and financially accessible: located near an LRT station, it is a far cry from the intimidating atmosphere of most art galleries. It has also played host to the Arts for Grabs festival, where artists and art enthusiasts trade art sold below the price of RM 100, living up to its promise of making art affordable for everyone.
“Because culture is both something that we define and defines us, we need to reclaim the act of defining our cultures, arts and heritage,” states Pang. “Look at wayang kulit – in the past, it was the cinema of their time conveying a relevant message, but now we treat it as an antique and boring art form.”
Culture, Pang states, comes in whatever form of creativity that can be found in our daily lives, ranging from the clothes you wear to the music you listen to, to a work of fine art displayed on a wall. Graduating from Limkokwing University of Creative Technology (then simply Limkokwing College) with his Diploma in Graphic Design in 1995, Pang has been going places, beginning as a graphic designer for a magazine (later its editor) before moving on to arts and theatre portal Kakiseni.com, where he began as a freelance contributor and was soon hired as editor.
Pang left Kakiseni towards the end of 2006 to work on The Annexe Gallery, and a few months later the gallery opened its doors to visitors for the first time. Along the way, Pang has earned several accolades to his name. In 2007 he was named Malaysia’s Top 20 under 40 by KLUE magazine, and for the following year he was sent to New York and Washington DC by The Kennedy Centre for a cultural programme for arts presenters, and later that year, to Japan as the Malaysian delegate for a conference entitled Urban Community Development Inspired by Culture: The Potential of Creative Cities run by The Japan Foundation.
“There may have been lecturers I rebelled against, but there were lecturers who truly challenged my way of thinking, for which I remain eternally grateful,” said Pang, when asked about his time at Limkokwing University. “I enjoyed every class under Carol and Laura Fan, who were the arts history lecturers then. Once the college invited Kamil Yunus, one of the top designers in the world, for a guest lecture. That was probably the most inspiring class in my life as a student.”
Pang is grateful for one thing at his alma mater: it offered state-of-the-art equipment available for student use. “I would spend hours in the photo labs: the college offered only the best and the latest technology available for us.”
As we wrap up our conversation, I ask Pang if there is anything else that he would like to add to what he has already told us.
New researches reveal that individuals who have multiple perspectives are better at problem solving. I also believe that it makes us better at understanding other people, accepting diversity and creating a harmonious and dynamic community – things we really need in Malaysia now -- so I think schools that teach creativity have an important role to play in challenging our artists to empower our collective imagination,” he said.
“Through this, we can boldly imagine ourselves a better Malaysia, and work together for the many intertwining dreams of our Malaysian Dreams.”
http://www.limkokwing.net/industry/profiles/pang_khee_teik/
Somebody told me that I worry too much
Last week, KLue magazine asked me to pick a song that captures what I feel about KL for their February issue. It is not as fun as being picked 20 Under 40 two years ago, but it still fulfils my media whore needs. I picked the following, because like many young activists, I worry too much about the future of KL. Too often I have been told to take a chill pill. But pills are expensive lah. Nah, I will stick to music.
Worry Too Much
by Mark Heard
Mark Heard, 1951-1992
Many of us have territorial worries, inherited from our primate ancestors no doubt. We think that if other people have their way with our beloved city, our children will be confused by knowledge we don't understand, our husbands seduced by domestic helps or construction workers, our wives demand for their rights; we fear we will lose our tiny space to be who we are, we will lose our beauty sleep, and we will lose the right to insult other people for being different. Sometimes we behave as if only our worries are real and other people's worries are brain farts. I think if we look deep enough, many of our brain farts and worries are the same.
Mark Heard was one of the very few Christian singer-songwriters I could relate to as I was growing up a tormented Christian, and even now, as an atheist, a much less tormented one. His faith is a mix of truth and doubt and constant searching; at least I feel he is honest about his humanity and doesn't pretend that problems can be solved by repeating "praise the lord". Because these worries are real. Because our faith is never enough, our understanding never complete, our humanity is too complex. So we always need artists and those who can help us to be honest with ourselves.
There is a version of this song by Buddy Miller, who is also an indie Christian singer-songwriter, you can online:
It's not the best version. The one I like is performed by Harrod & Funck, now defunct, in the Mark Heard tribute album called Orphans Of God, released after his death from a heart attack at the age of 41.
I miss Mark Heard as I miss Toni Kasim, Yasmin Ahmad and all my heroes who brought me here. Here's to more worries in 2010, to the fight for the good we know to last to be seen by the eyes of the little ones. Happy New Year, everyone.
Worry Too Much
by Mark Heard
Mark Heard, 1951-1992
it's the demolition derby
it's the sport of the hunt
proud tribe in full war-dance
it's the slow smile that the bully gives the runt
it's the force of inertia
it's the lack of constraint
it's the children out playing in the rock garden
all dolled-up in black hats and war paint
sometimes it feels like bars of steel
i cannot bend with my hands
oh - i worry too much
somebody told me that i worry too much
it's these sandpaper eyes
it's the way they rub the luster from what is seen
it's the way we tell ourselves that all these things are normal
till we can't remember what we mean
it's the flicker of our flames
it's the friction born of living
it's the way we beat a hot retreat
and heave our smoking guns into the river
sometimes it feels like bars of steel
i cannot bend with my hands
oh - i worry too much
somebody told me that i worry too much
it's the quick-step march of history
the vanity of nations
it's the way there'll be no muffled drums
to mark the passage of my generation
it's the children of my children
it's the lambs born in innocence
it's wondering if the good i know
will last to be seen by the eyes of the little ones
sometimes it feels like bars of steel
i cannot bend with my hands
oh - i worry too much
somebody told me that i worry too much
Many of us have territorial worries, inherited from our primate ancestors no doubt. We think that if other people have their way with our beloved city, our children will be confused by knowledge we don't understand, our husbands seduced by domestic helps or construction workers, our wives demand for their rights; we fear we will lose our tiny space to be who we are, we will lose our beauty sleep, and we will lose the right to insult other people for being different. Sometimes we behave as if only our worries are real and other people's worries are brain farts. I think if we look deep enough, many of our brain farts and worries are the same.
Mark Heard was one of the very few Christian singer-songwriters I could relate to as I was growing up a tormented Christian, and even now, as an atheist, a much less tormented one. His faith is a mix of truth and doubt and constant searching; at least I feel he is honest about his humanity and doesn't pretend that problems can be solved by repeating "praise the lord". Because these worries are real. Because our faith is never enough, our understanding never complete, our humanity is too complex. So we always need artists and those who can help us to be honest with ourselves.
There is a version of this song by Buddy Miller, who is also an indie Christian singer-songwriter, you can online:
It's not the best version. The one I like is performed by Harrod & Funck, now defunct, in the Mark Heard tribute album called Orphans Of God, released after his death from a heart attack at the age of 41.
I miss Mark Heard as I miss Toni Kasim, Yasmin Ahmad and all my heroes who brought me here. Here's to more worries in 2010, to the fight for the good we know to last to be seen by the eyes of the little ones. Happy New Year, everyone.
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