Sep 9, 2010

FOR M'SIAN GAYS, HOPE FOR A BETTER TOMORROW



by Pang Khee Teik
Published in Malaysiakini, Sep 9 2010

True Malaysian Story No 1: When she turned 13, Alia's father kicked her out of the house for dressing like a girl. As a child, Alia knew she was a girl, so she couldn't understand why her father kept scolding and beating her up for it - 'You're a boy, act like a boy!' Alia went and stayed with another transsexual.

They faced constant harassment from police and religious officers and counted themselves lucky when the worst they got was just extortion (some of her friends weren't so lucky).

Since nobody would give her a job, she was hungry all the time and had to sell her body to survive. When she was 17, she found out she was infected with HIV. She started working for a HIV organisation and saved enough to have a sex reassignment surgery. She also took up a part-time course and received her diploma in draftsmanship.

Alia went back to her kampung to show to her father that she had made something of herself. When she reached her kampung, she found out her father had passed away. She never got the chance.

True Malaysian Story No 2: On the day he was to go back to UK to continue his studies, Chris's parents asked him, son, are you gay? He told them the truth. That afternoon itself, they kicked him out of the home and cut off his allowance and funding. He couldn't continue his studies. A month later, however, still not quite settled, Chris received a call from his mom. Let's reconcile, she said, come back and we'll talk.

When he got home, his parents had called the cops, who took him to a police station and then to a hospital where his father asked the psychiatric unit to cure his son of homosexuality. But homosexuality is no longer regarded as a mental illness by the psychiatric profession worldwide. Two days later, Chris was discharged, but not before he had to pay the hospital fees with money borrowed from friends.

We like to lament that this country will become too liberal and permissive if we allow homosexuality and transsexualism. We believe that these 'vices' are tearing up families and societies. But see for yourselves, my friends, just who is tearing up who.

How many children do we want to kick out into the streets before we feel safe? What kind of a country is this where we consistently subject the most vulnerable segments of our population to more violence and discrimination? We have hatred in the streets, in the parliament, and in the homes. Have we gotten so used to hatred that we need to punish love now?

Sep 1, 2010

MALAYSIAN HEARTBREAK HERO: PANG KHEE TEIK

Published on Fridae, 15 Aug 2008

Photographer, actor, writer, arts critic and Arts Programme Director of The Annexe, Central Market - arguably Kuala Lumpur's buzziest centre for contemporary arts - Pang Khee Teik is putting together Seksualiti Merdeka, Malaysia's first "sexuality rights" festival from Aug 29 - 31.

 

Currently in Singapore to participate in "Heartbreak heroes: Four Malaysians on surviving love, loss and a hostel in Singapore," Pang Khee Teik will appear alongside three other Malaysian writers who have been invited to share their experiences at a session organised as part of Indignation, Singapore's LGBT pride season. The talk will be held at 72-13 on Saturday, Aug 16 at 3pm.

Seksualiti Merdeka, Malaysia's first gay themed festival will be held from Aug 29 - 31, 2008
The 34-year-old shares how he went from "sleeping in other boys' beds" as a teen studying in Singapore to joining a Christian ministry to overcome his "sexual brokenness" to organising Seksualiti Merdeka (meaning independence in Malay) - Malaysia's first "sexuality rights" festival - to coincide with his country's independence day. We also ask the self-described "connoisseur of (online) personal ads" for some tips on how one can improve his or her "hit" rate.

æ: Age, sex, location?

Pang: 33, Male, Arts Programme Director, Kuala Lumpur

æ: I'm sure I'm not the first to ask but did you have your heart broken a lot while you were in Singapore - or elsewhere?

Pang: I used to be a compulsive collector of infatuations. This was when I was studying in Singapore from age 12 to 18. And I had no love guru then to tell me that I had to let go of old crushes before acquiring new ones, so I developed a serious case of compounded infatuations, overdrawn on my credit from the love bank. These bubbles reached a bursting point somewhere before my "A" levels - when I became aware of my aloneness in the exam hall of the universe, and I joined a Christian ministry for overcoming my "sexual brokenness" which I thought was the cause of my aloneness, and hence, felt even more alone - and one by one, in quick succession, I let my heart break over these infatuations that I now realise will never become real. Of course, none of my crushes were aware of their compromising positions in my harem of wishful thinking, so none of them knew they broke my heart, those bastards. But it's okay. And most of them were Malaysians.

I honestly can't say I have gotten over my compulsion. I still have spots in my heart for a handful of guys I fell in love with in high school. Some people are destined to break your heart forever. But on most days I manage not to think about them.

æ: How did this topic come about and what are you all really going to talk about?

Pang: We didn't really have a topic. It so happened a few months ago, I met with Clarence Singam (who's the organiser of the session) for lunch as I always try to when I am in Singapore. He is such an inspiration. During lunch he mentioned being busy with Indignation when suddenly, in between shoving pasta into my mouth, I decided to bully Clarence into hosting a contingent of Malaysians during Indignation! I always thought Malaysians and Singaporeans should make out together more! We can offer each other perspectives beyond our little incestuous rocks.

So first, I enlisted my buddy Jerome, an incredibly talented poet, and Dr Farish Noor, who said he has the perfect piece to read about some legendary bisexual. Jerome and I then decided to ask our lesbian pal Jac. It so turns out that apart from Farish, the three of us are reading stories of heartbreaks. And as for Farish, he breaks hearts regularly, so that's that.

I have been reflecting on the good old strategy of seduction through tears, winning people over by breaking their hearts and arousing their sense of compassion. I was turned on to activism through some really tragic stories from an activist friend. Also, my ex sort of came out to his mom by crying on her shoulders (the very day I broke up with him... sigh!), and dumbfounded, all she could say was, "Now, now, there will be others."